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Meet Monica de la Cruz Hernandez

Updated: Jan 13, 2022


Monica de la Cruz Hernandez is easily identified by her brilliant lips and exotic piercings
Monica de la Cruz Hernandez is easily identified by her brilliant lips and exotic piercings

Meet Monica de la Cruz, embracing hubris, humility and hyperbole. Her grandmother won a ten-marathon from Mexico to the United States. She crossed into Texas at the Rio Grande river. Her time set a record for over-eighty long distance running. Her husband drowned when his battleship sank after WWII ended. Norma, her daughter, found herself as dela Cruz’ mother, alone in Brownsville. Monica Hernandez was cheerleader president of her high school. As an altar boy at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion Catholic Church in Texas she knew several dubious priests. She learned from the experience to see the horrors of immigration by undesirables. Ever since she has battled to halt the onslaught.


Monica de la Cruz Hernandez prays to any God at any time, like here during a publicity stunt.
Monica de la Cruz Hernandez prays to any God at any time, like here during a publicity stunt.

Monica de la Hernandez snubbed the more famous University of Texas at Austin. She chose little UT San Antonio, preferring insignificance. Faculty and staff knew her as a right-wing agitator the whole time in college. By her actions, she proved it isn’t what you know, it’s who. Focusing on business classes and political involvement, she joined the AKP Business Fraternity. This group is the gauntlet to Texas fright-wing politics. Having stirred up Republicans at UT San Antonio, she left for La Universidad Nacional Autonoma de Mexico in Mexico City. Cruz used that experience to win an internship with MAGA Turner Entertainment. Redacted copies of her application circulate widely. Somehow they picked her over three hundred other applicants. She worked closely with Ted Turner during many late-night one-on-one meetings at Cartoon Network Latin America in Atlanta, Georgia. No recordings or photos of those get-togethers have ever surfaced to support the rumors.

Meet Monica de la Cruz for US Congress GOP Republican Texas Representative District 15
Monica de la Cruz' Gerrymandered Texas District 15

Heavily gerrymandered District 15 is a thin, severed finger, extending from the southernmost border of Mexico to the center of Texas. Hard-working undocumented people exceeds the number of lazy citizens in District 15 by more than 100%. No Democrats live there. The government of Mexico is thinking of annexing a severed part of the finger, which runs up into Texas, with assistance from Monica Cruz.



Monica de la Cruz Hernandez, in the middle, likes to hook-up with two or more women.
Monica de la Cruz Hernandez, in the middle, likes to hook-up with two or more women.

Meet Monica de la Cruz now. She returned to the Rio Grande Valley dirt from which she came. There she followed the money and started an insurance agency. Since insurance is a money business, not a people business, it was a simple choice. Her private overseas bank accounts now regularly overflow with cash grifted from across the valley. The business oligarchy includes numerous front companies, which remain hidden from view to this day. Official investigations continue. Meet Monica, currently living with two blond Scottish children in Edinburgh.


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